So I fell asleep last night after rolling a joint. I called Jack to see if he had wanted to do it with me but I happened to fall asleep while waiting for him to call me back.

So my dream was about a war between God and the devil. Well it wasn't really a war, it was more like the both of them were like fighting for me. Like they wanted me cause I was important. It made me feel special but it always seemed like a game, and they were only allowed to advise me. I had to make all the choices. They couldn't force me to do anything.

I can't tell you what they looked like because they were simply living in everything and everywhere! As in like, when my friend offered me a smoke, that would obviously be the devil. But then there would always be another friend around to stop me from doing it. Which was God. And while making the choice in the dream, it was so clear to me and obvious what the correct decision should have been. But do we really say no in reality?

The strangest part of this dream is that it felt so real. Like I was really there and being put to the test. And in the dream, sometimes it felt so comforting, like a warmth of a burning ball of fire inside my heart burning out all the evil from my soul. Sometimes, I'd feel chilly and clammy and imagine darkness but with many evil smiles surrounding me.

Also, In some parts, I am confident that I was really in a spiritual dimension. I won't know how to explain it but it's like there was soooo much wind in an empty room that was filled with clouds. And in my mind i kept thinking. I am stronger than to let the wind blow me down. In the room was this black hole and it just felt bad going in there. I went in there like 3 or 4 times and I can't remember what was in there but it was bad. Like every scenario had a black hole. If I made the wrong decision i'd fall into the black hole. but i'd get to do it again. like another chance.

 The thing is, there were so many scenarios where i was tricked by the devil cause sometimes I couldn't tell if it was God or the devil talking to me. And the game was something like for every 5 choices I make to God's advantage or the devil's advantage, I move onto the next stage or move down a stage. Every stage was a different scenario.

And it was so real, but hard to explain. When I had reached a sort of enlightenment, I thought I had reached heaven. Cause it was so peaceful. Then I realised that I had dreamt the exact same dream exactly the same time last year after easter. And I suddenly woke up! I was very calm and felt cleansed!

When I awoke, I realised that last year, I had this opportunity to decide if i wanted to quit smoking and it would be easy. But I decided to go back to sleep when i thought it was just a dream. I said, I'll throw out my smokes later when i wake up.

So I awoke and decided that, now, I get to decide again. same time, same place, different year but same scenario. Immediately, I got out of bed, threw my stash out and my full packet of cigarettes into my dustbin.

Checked my handphone. I had like 6 miss calls but I never heard it. I normally do. Then I realised, I somehow had kept a few bible verses that nicky had asked me to check up ages ago. Never checked it up but always told myself ... don't delete the msgs. I'll check it one day.

Go check out Romans 8:1-11. It's something about you are never a christian unless you have christ living in you. Not just because you acknowledge God and Jesus. You have to potray yourself as a christian. and not just talk about it. and that your spirit will resurrect after you die because Jesus lives in you.

Haven't smoked the whole day today, although I feel like it. I don't know man. this is actually quite hard but I decided to share this story yesterday so i'm doing just that now.